~~The Phone Call

It seemed that every time I tried to start typing, I would get distracted by something else. Don't you hate that! Well here I am now...finally. It was a pretty good weekend until today when I got a phone call from my ex husband about the boys coming to see him. All I am going to say about is this, tomorrow I am going to call the court to get the visitation agreements modified and straightened out. I hate the fact that I am wanting my kids to grow up faster so I won't have to deal with him much longer. What mom wants this? Don't most moms want their kids to be kids forever? This is not fair. Okay...on to other stuff before I start crying again.
The flare-up I had last week with my back is finally calming down a bit. I see the PT again tomorrow so I hope I will get to try more. I have to do this for a month before the insurance will pay for the MRI. This is so frustrating! Why am I going to PT? There is nothing wrong with the muscles, IT'S MY SPINE...IT'S BONE. Somebody explain this to me please. How is doing PT going to fix my back? The PT alone said that this probably was not going to help and I probably would need surgery again. Don't you hate it when the insurance companies tell your doctor what you, their patient, needs. Hello, who went to medical school here ?! I just want the pain to end...I want it to be like it was when I was younger, like other people who can do all those things I can't anymore. This is absolutely not fun anymore. Is this what I signed up for?
Yesterday our neighbors DH came home after 2 weeks out so we had a little get together last night for him. It was a lot of fun. We stayed outside talking until 11pm. I haven't done that in a while. I ended up going to bed at 12:30 but did not get to sleep until 2am. I hate this but my legs are just not letting me sleep. I usually take a pain pill for it, but it is not helping. I'm just a mess.
Well, I going to work on some scrapbooking. I'm trying to get some of them post on here too in the slide show.

~~Clean-Dar

Today was an up and down kind of day. I watched Zoe again but only until 1:30pm. She was in a much better mood then yesterday as her teeth have popped through a little more. I did get some cleaning done though hence the "Clean-Dar" title (short for clean radar). I focused mainly on Stephen's room. It looks so much better now. I had to quit way too early though because my back is still recovering from it's flare up and the pain kicked in quickly. I try to control it with pain meds, but I feel like I am only playing catch up. I need to talk to the doctor about getting something for my legs to stop or just mellow out the constant nerve pain, especially at night. I am having a hard time sleeping because my legs want to move due to the pain, burning, pins & needles, and numbness. No wonder my depression has gotten so bad. How can I enjoy life with this much pain and constant limitations in it? Tonight is a bad night. I am really feeling the depression. I guess that's why I am cleaning out my scrap stuff, because if it is clean and easily accessible then I will have at least one happy thing to look forward too. It will be easier to scrap and I will get more done instead of always having to look for stuff. Well, I am going to go finish my organizing and head to bed. Goodnight :)

~~Physical Therapy

Well, today was my first physical therapy appt. There wasn't too much the PT could do as I had a flare up yesterday in my back and I just could not move very well. He was very nice though, his name is Russell. He taught me some basic movements that will help me improve my muscle strength, but I am to only do what is comfortable for me. He believes that I am going to need surgery again. Yuck!